I’ve always had very little respect for my own belongings. Like it would be uncool to actually care about that gadget or a toy (the only exception was books and my notepads) because hello, it’s replaceable! Being a true Russian I am prone to exaggerating my social status. They say only rich people can say ‘it’s too expensive for me’ while people who barely make ends meet are ashamed to admit they are on a budget. Same mentality here: If I’m worried not to break stuff it means I cannot afford replacing it and who would want to hang out with such a poor chap.

Interesting I treat my intangible assets the same value. Somebody wants to abuse my ears? Oh sure, here’s all my time, eat it up. I put interests of outsiders before my own or my family. I can ask my husband to run some errand for a friend but never for myself. What’s that again? Seeking approval?

I still think of my child as a part of me so I’m afraid I might deprive her of her small pleasures in favor of others’.  Sure, we don’t need a swing, sure, ignore her attempts to play together etc. I push the line from sharing to giving in but need to balance my child’s needs and the social spectrum.

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